Donald Trump reached his 80th birthday this weekend with a barrage of messages from across the political and cultural spectrum. The occasion drew birthday wishes that ranged from sardonic congratulations to scathing indictments, with prominent figures including climate activist Greta Thunberg, author Jennifer Egan, and broadcaster Piers Morgan weighing in on the milestone.
Piers Morgan, who has maintained a personal relationship with Trump spanning two decades, focused his remarks on what he called Trump's "extraordinary resilience." Morgan cited Trump's ability to bounce back from attempted assassination, financial crises, impeachment, and what he termed relentless public mockery. He recalled a conversation with Trump days after the shooting incident at a Pennsylvania rally, when Trump expressed his determination to return to campaigning immediately. "There aren't many people who would do that a few days after a bullet bloodied their ear," Morgan wrote.
The birthday messages took a sharply different tone from other quarters. Novelist and Pulitzer Prize winner Jennifer Egan opened with dark humor, writing that she initially considered gifting Trump "a one-way ticket to The Hague" before pivoting to a can of alphabet soup. She suggested the gift might produce "more coherent" sentences than Trump's actual public statements.
Greta Thunberg delivered a cutting one-liner, offering Trump a can of alphabet soup with the hope that sentences produced from its contents would be more intelligible than anything he has previously said. The jab came as payback for Trump's 2019 tweet suggesting she work on her "anger management problem."
Commentator Jon Sopel took aim at Trump's newly announced tax immunity, sarcastically celebrating the decision by acting attorney general Todd Blanche to bar tax authorities from examining Trump's returns. Sopel marveled at the fortune of having such protections extended not only to Trump but his adult sons as well, noting the family's increased wealth following the return to power.
Novelist Siri Hustvedt offered a more philosophical critique, drawing on James Baldwin's observations about American culture and mortality. She argued that the cult surrounding Trump reflects a denial of basic human vulnerability and interdependence, warning that the fantasy is beginning to crack as Trump's body shows the infirmities of advanced age.
Guardian columnist Jonathan Freedland struck a different chord, resisting the urge to mock Trump entirely. Instead, he wished him happy birthday while condemning what he called Trump's injection of poison into the bloodstream of American democracy and his corruption of institutional norms.
Not all voices were uniformly hostile. Tech activist and author Cory Doctorow offered an unconventional birthday message, crediting Trump with accelerating the "de-dollarization" of the global economy and hastening moves by nations like Ethiopia and India to reduce dependence on American systems. Doctorow suggested Trump was inadvertently ushering in a post-American world order, writing that "a grateful planet salutes you."
Environmentalist Bill McKibben offered backhanded praise, granting Trump a "small gold trophy as electric vehicle salesman of the quarter," attributing the global embrace of renewable energy partly to unintended consequences of Trump's policies.
The birthday messages collectively painted a portrait of a polarizing figure whose impact on American politics, the world economy, and global institutions continues to generate fierce debate even as he enters his ninth decade. Whether critics framed him as a dangerous authoritarian or an inadvertent agent of systemic change, few disputed his capacity to command attention and provoke reaction.
Author James Rodriguez: "For a man who thrives on attention, this roasting from titans of culture and commentary is probably the only kind of birthday party he actually wants."
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